Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto

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Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto

Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto

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Having never known any Bi men closely, I learned a lot here, so that made the book useful to me; but I think it could have been half as long, and I would have finished it with just as much knowledge and understanding. In fact, the only part I didn't love was that it read quite a lot like a self-help book (when a quote at the beginning implied it wasn't trying to be that) and that's not really for me. His honest approach is a welcome reprieve from the messages of our youth and his self-exploration not only encourages but enables us to do our own. Zane's book is a blueprint for a new type of community where Bi and Pan people can be fully themselves AND make all the other kids welcome in the sandbox.

When discussing racial preferences, his advice is essentially, "If they don't realize you don't want to have sex with their entire race, it's okay. Boyslut is a book about how it is to be a bisexual man in modern society, how to embrace ones sexuality and understand meaning of sex in ones life. He attended the "Bisexual White House Briefing" at the White House (under Obama) and has been featured as an expert on a number of podcasts, including "The Savage Lovecast" and “Whoreible Decisions. In middle school, he couldn’t sleep at night because he had to check every ten minutes that his alarm clock was set.I’ve been pegged by a New York Times bestselling author, bred contestants from America’s Next Top Model, boned countless queens from RuPaul’s Drag Race, and fucked Emmy, Tony, and Grammy winners. This book invites you to reflect on your sexual identity and approach to such conversations; how societal programming enforces a feeling of shame when discussing sex.

The defence presented is that we have medicines to treat and cure most STIs, after all, and the ones we can't cure we can manage such that folks have long and happy lives regardless.It started sounds like a pamphlet you’d find at planned parenthood about a lot of statistics with the word fuck and ass sprinkled in. As a bisexual healthcare professional, I want to go on record that there is a difference between shaming someone for having an STI (which I will agree is bad) and shaming someone for a cavalier nonchalance towards infections which are actively mutating to the point where we don't have effective treatments for those who do get infected, often from partners who themselves don't know they are infected because a test doesn't show positive yet. I enjoyed how meaning of “bisexual” was described, and how sometimes it’s hard to come to the conclusion that you’re “bi” especially for a man. But it’s no mere titillating freak show, this is experience as peer learning, a seriously oversharing account of how mistakes can lead to transformation, how trauma left to fester reasserts itself in damaging habits and how breakdown can be breakthrough. Americans, to our fault, are the most sex-obsessed people in the world, and the fact that books like this still get published perplexes me.

From stories of play sessions with a neighbor at age six to the first explorations of Zane’s bisexuality in college, as well as sex parties, orgies, and fun with butt plugs, Boyslut is reassuring and often painfully funny―and most potently, it is a testimony that we can all learn to live healthier lives unburdened by stigma. There is an entire chapter discussing how STIs are no big deal and that while they aren't fun they ought not to be stigmatized. This then turns disparaging of healthcare professionals who just don't get it, referencing a nurse Nancy he was seeing at the clinic, because they aren't in the queer community.Second, Boyslut is yet another memoir/manifesto, like that awful All Boys Aren't Blue, that was written in a rush of synthetic, egocentric, Millennial/Gen Z blather. I’m sorry Zane has a hard time coming with a condom on, but them’s the breaks if he wants to behave responsibly, not only toward his partners but also toward readers of his advice column and of this book. Through therapy, socialization, and life experience he explores a journey to self-acceptance that assures us it's okay (and healthy) to have questions and doubts, but also insists we don't let them get in the way of living our lives. Genuinely sad that I'm giving this book a two-star rating, but I feel it has to be done for reasons that will become clear later in this review.

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